Whether it is Formula Milk or Breast Milk

It doesn’t matter how you nurse or feed your children, whether you nurse them with formula milk or breast milk, when you are able to bond with them, to make they feel that you love them all the time, then you are still a good parent, you are still their first priority when they grow up (of course with a good nurture from the parents and surrounding).

Why I wrote about this? I was and am persuading myself to just let go the frustration that I had as I am no longer direct feeding my younger son. Although I am still pumping breast milk for him, it was with a very huge effort that I could muster. I don’t know how long I will be able to produce him with breast milk, but as long as he is still excepting to drink the expressed milk, I think that would be enough for me to motivate myself to pump. And yes, at home, he is being feed with formula milk, but then again, I don’t want to make the tension level arise between us and to make things becoming more complicated, as long as he is still looking for me whenever he is in need to be comfort or to sleep, I am good.

Why did I say so? Because last time when I was weaning off entirely with my twins as I was pregnant with their younger brother at that time, they were becoming more and more attached to their father than me. But as I spend more time playing with them, speak to them with soft voice, feed them, bathe them, in short trying to bond with them, they gave equal attention to me as they gave to their father. So I practice the same thing with their younger brother. What makes it quite harder this time is that, I was and am planning my pregnancy so that I can breastfeed him for another year as I never had done so with his twin brothers. So my frustration was somewhat bigger than last time. I am actually hoping that I am pregnant again so that I can divert the blame to the pregnancy hahahahah..

Alhamdulillah, after these few days holiday, spending most of time with him and his brothers, although I was exhausted like hell since we were actually travelling back to my husband’s hometown, still I managed to smile to all of them and to keep my temper away while managing them. And I thank to Allah for helping me to subside my sadness and giving me strength in coping everything these few days. Also to my husband who is always patience with my outburst sometimes.

Seriously mothers, it doesn’t matter really how you feed your children with as long as you bond with them, then there is nothing to worry much, well even though no one can argue how much breast milk benefit more than formula milk. But that being said, you spend quality time with your children, always there when they are in need, then you are good . I was and am still learning to talk using a ‘normal’ level of voice whenever they had their tantrum and always pray to the heaven that lots of patience would be injected to me and my husband during that challenging situation. It was never easy to push the ‘pause button’ on your head when they are screaming their heart out.

turning the house upside down is one of their favourite pastime

turning the house upside down is one of their favourite pastime


I love my sons. I will always do.

Qider Firdaus
Bandar Baru Bangi



Postnatal Depression : my own experience

I don’t know how to write this properly. I met a Post Natal Depression (PND) case during that week and I’ve been surfing about it these few days and so much willingly to write about it, from my point of view. The longer I read all the articles that I could grab while surfing, the speechless I become. I think it is best, or maybe more convenient for me to write from my own experience.

Postnatal depression, woman despondent

I remember last year I gave birth to the twin, for the first 20 days of confinement I cried almost everyday. I felt so hopeless because I cannot breastfeed my boys, I don’t know how to start collecting breast milk stock and how to preserve it. I was angry to my parents because they simply fed my boys with formula milk by saying that I won’t be able to feed them, my breast milk was not enough and I should look after myself first. While actually, everyone was busy managing the twin, there was no one to look after me (only my sister who helped me to take bath), and as that was my first time, I have no clue whatsoever how to look after myself! What I know that time, I felt very fatigued due to the pain at my ball and socket joint, barely can walk, severely emotional breakdown as for me everybody just throw suggestions to me but done nothing and my determination to breastfeed my children so much almost ‘kills me’. There was one time that I sms my hubby saying that, I am so wishing that I can’t make it during surgery because I have no will to live anymore (that time he had to get back to KL to settle few things).

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