In episode : Being a good parent was never easy
It was not wise to scold our children too much. To make it worst, if it involve spanking too. I know it well. I’d learnt all about it, and from my childhood experience combined, I hated it when people shouting at me and beat me. That is why I hated myself when I lost control and shouted at my sons. I have been a bad mom lately. A very bad one. I think I was much more mean than Cinderella step mom, see. *long sigh. And I could see my sons’ faces were full with sadness. There a lot of shouting going on in the house last week and I am not feeling happy about it too. It stressed me out.
I love my sons. There is no denying it. They are very bright and good children. And creative too. The thing that really gets on my nerve is the way they express what they had in mind. They cried. An ear splitting cried. Even though when I went to hug and try to calm them down, they would still cried out lout and struggling to get loose from me. Sometimes, I didn’t get what they really want from me and the result after that was both party were upset, hurt and sad.
Honestly, I know why they cried. Why is crying become their medium of communication with me and hubby. Because they cannot talk properly. Still in their baby talk thing and most of the time they express their mind with action. If they were thirsty and wanted to drink, they would grab my hand, pull me to the kitchen and point to their usual cup. Sometime they just went to the kitchen, took their mug and fill the plain water themselves. Or when they wanted to sleep and need to drink milk, they just pat me and show me their milk bottle (there were also time the brought their milk powder canister to me too). Normally with both gesture, I got the message right away.
playing with them, ummi still in office attire
It would all be okay when I was and am all well, physically healthy and mentally fine but it turns bad when I am not. Sometimes it takes toll on me, struggling to be positive every day. I cried fair few times too when I lost control of myself.
Alhamdulillah, He guided me, He lead me the way to be a better mom. There is a parenting coach at Facebook. Her name is Liyana Malik. She already produced an e-book ‘7 saat anak dengar kata ibu bapa’ (7 seconds children listened to the parents). One day, one of my friends liked her status, it was about how children tend to do annoying thing just because they wanted our attention or as an expression of disappointment. It reflected perfectly with my situation. So I liked her page, and everyday keep on drinking her every word just to make sure I stay sane.
Now, I barely shouted to my sons, let alone raise my hand to any part of their bodies. When I am too overwhelmed with anger, I just walked away and turn deaf. If they keep crying out loud, I let them played with water or as a last resort, switch on their favourite movies. When everyone calm down, then we will proceed being a happy family again.
they love the mini pool so much
It was never easy to raise children. We are growing up with them. Every day, both party learnt something new, embrace problem together and try to never repeat mistakes again. To be a good parent, we need knowledge, support group and lots of guidance from God. Without knowledge, we will always repeat the same mistakes all over again, miscommunication becoming bigger, and demolished bonding between us and our children. Without support group, it was hard to be positive with every challenging day and without guidance from God, we will never find neither knowledge nor support group at all. He will guide us to the best solution ever.
Be a good (and wise) parent. We will never know how long our children will be with us. Make a full use of the time. Decreased all bad moments, enriched happy memories.
We can do it, InsyaAllah. That is why He granted us with children!He knows we can.
Always have faith in Him
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