I don’t know how to write this properly. I met a Post Natal Depression (PND) case during that week and I’ve been surfing about it these few days and so much willingly to write about it, from my point of view. The longer I read all the articles that I could grab while surfing, the speechless I become. I think it is best, or maybe more convenient for me to write from my own experience.
I remember last year I gave birth to the twin, for the first 20 days of confinement I cried almost everyday. I felt so hopeless because I cannot breastfeed my boys, I don’t know how to start collecting breast milk stock and how to preserve it. I was angry to my parents because they simply fed my boys with formula milk by saying that I won’t be able to feed them, my breast milk was not enough and I should look after myself first. While actually, everyone was busy managing the twin, there was no one to look after me (only my sister who helped me to take bath), and as that was my first time, I have no clue whatsoever how to look after myself! What I know that time, I felt very fatigued due to the pain at my ball and socket joint, barely can walk, severely emotional breakdown as for me everybody just throw suggestions to me but done nothing and my determination to breastfeed my children so much almost ‘kills me’. There was one time that I sms my hubby saying that, I am so wishing that I can’t make it during surgery because I have no will to live anymore (that time he had to get back to KL to settle few things).