I am not the kind of person who is very good with kids. I am so used giving order to my younger sibling and it stays that way for years. When I had a collective of nieces and nephews from my cousins, I don’t know how to talk to them.
Pathetic right? (laugh)
Even when I first had my twin boys and their younger brother, I was clueless to be a mother.
Until, I finally found out, they are delayed in speech.
As much as it saddened me, panic, it helped me to finally learn on how to teach kids (even babies) naturally.
All these years, it was only gut feeling.
A feeling that,
It was okay to talk about everything to kids, setting high level every time.
It was not okay to let kids under 6 to be hooked with television and smartphone, tablet whatsoever.
It was never okay to shout to kids, even if they make mistakes or they throw their tantrum.
It was absolutely wrong to let kids eat fast food, processed and junk food and to hold your ground when they use any means to get it.
It was okay to teach them about healthy eating.
It was okay to read books to them. Even to teach them to read, joyfully.
It was okay to teach them to memorize Quran, better to make them understand of their memorizing.
But I don’t know how to do all that.
When finally I knew, I only know how to react especially to my sons, to other special need children.
I am flabbergasted when it comes to average children.
I was and am being known for my silent and strictness among my nephews and nieces.
Sometime, too stern.
So rigid about chemical thingy too (laugh again).
And everything must be all natural (smirk).
So now, I finally learn how to react with kids.
But then, it was easy said than done. Still, I must start somewhere right.
Last week, during AidilAdha celebration, I grab the chance to test myself. My princess warrior was restless for almost the whole week, it was a struggled for me to keep my temper at bay, while persuaded her on the floor all the time while monitoring her brothers.
(Whisper : she finally creeps, in cross pattern, yayyy)
On the first day of AidilAdha, my husband and his siblings performed Qurban. All the kids were estatic. They gathered around looking how Qurban was performed. Then it was meat cutting time, and all the organs were visible in front of their eyes.
But there is no one to answer their questions or offering explanations.
Appreciating the scene and their lack of gadget for the day, I went there with princess warrior clinging very tight to me (she is so heavy, how she get that heavy, I had no idea).
The only thing that comes to my mind is naming the organs, so that’s how I roll.
‘Did you see that? That is cow’s stomach. It has 4 parts’
‘Wow, it is so big’, exclaimed one of them.
‘Yes, because it has 4 stomachs. We, human, only have one’, tried my best to explained futher.
‘Cik Nur, what is that?’, one of them pointing to an organ shape like a long leave.
‘Oh, that is gall bladder, upwards the gall bladder is the liver’.
‘Where is its heart?’
‘We’ll have to wait, I have not seen it yet’, I replied.
The rest of the meat cutting activity was full with me and all the kids (my children and their cousins of course) with organs’ naming. Eventhough my sons did not response to my conversation with their cousins, I know they were listening.
You see, children are hungry for information. They wanted to know about everything. Instead of giving them too much screen time for the sake of allowing ourselves to have time for housechores or ‘me time’, or pushing them away when they asked about anything or when they interrupted our conversation without telling (or showing) them how to interrupt politely, we are doing injustice, disservice to them.
We are not doing what Rasulullah SAW always did when he was surrounded with children. He acknowledged their potential, appreciate their wisdom and love them unconditionally.
I have just being guided to how to behave with kids. Although I do have many flaws, especially my quick temper, regret on most days I lost it, still it sadden me seeing how kids being treated, by not appreciating their fitrah, by giving things which making them addicted to it and them scolded them when they did not understand why they are so dependence to those things (gadget). For me, there is no such thing as giving the gadgets to children for the sake of ‘that’s what in their TIME’, ‘preparing them for their TIME’, that just a big excuse.
And, seriously SILLY EXCUSE. Sorry.
Same goes to junk food. It is junk guys, junk.
When He gave us children, it is a lifetime contract with Him. Do what it takes to mold this responsibility so that it will spread the goodness of His Love. Learn on how to look after, to guide, to nurture this gift of God, when not many being given so.
Do. Not. Take. It. For. Granted.
Okay, I have to stop now. Afraid it will become a long boring ranting which I had no idea it will go.